Every couple fights, but some couples handle fighting better than others. If you and your partner continue to scream at each other but can’t actually resolve anything, it’s time to make a change. Here’s what you need to do if you can’t stop fighting with each other.
Find a couples therapist
The best thing you can do when you want to help your relationship is to start couples therapy. A qualified therapist through Therapy Group of DC will help you and your partner develop skills and work through issues you’re having. What you learn during couples therapy will inform your relationship for years to come. Your therapist might help you work through a specific issue, like your inability to cease fighting, by establishing goals for the service. He or she will give you the tools you need to reach your goals and will help you learn more about your relationship and each other during each session. Unlike individual therapy, couples counseling is about you both as a unit. Your couples therapist will work with both of you to heal wounds and create bonds. Couples therapy is 75% effective, so it’s a great option if you’re feeling lost or confused.
Develop communication skills
One of the great things your therapist can help you with is building communication skills. Most couples fight because they’re failing to communicate. It might not even matter what you’re fighting about. Maybe your partner mentioned that he wanted the house to be cleaner, but you’ve been cleaning. You might feel defensive because you’ve been doing work and it’s gone unappreciated. But, actually, your partner might have meant that he felt bad he wasn’t doing enough work. Failing to accurately communicate what you mean can result in little issues being blown up into larger conflicts. You and your partner might have different values. Perhaps you save your money wisely while your loved one spends constantly. Discussing your values and sharing beliefs can help alleviate concerns. It can be difficult to bring up these issues on your own, so working with a couples or family therapist will help you stay calm. The work you do in sessions will be productive and help you grow as a couple.
Work on solvable problems
There are plenty of problems you can’t solve. If your partner is a perpetual procrastinator, you probably won’t be able to change that. It’s important that you accept your loved one for who he or she is. Wanting your partner to change will just leave you feeling frustrated and unhappy. Instead, focus on problems you actually can solve. If you’re both constantly worried about money, make a plan to bring in more cash. Don’t let one partner work harder than the other to make money for the family. Split the responsibilities. You can make money live streaming and easily have cash to fund your future goals. Not having enough money is a solvable problem, so you and your loved one can discuss ways to fix this problem. Working together to meet a goal might even help bring you closer. If you’re constantly upset about your partner’s smartphone use, set up rules for the house. Make dinner a tech-free time so you can talk about your days and spend quality time together. Your therapist can also help you identify which problems are fixable and which just need to be accepted. He or she can also help you learn how to accept the things you can’t change, and what to do with your feelings when confronted with facts you don’t like.
Fighting with your loved one doesn’t mean your relationship is over. Work with a professional to see what you can do to get to a healthy place.